shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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