I want to have your abortion
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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