just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
