it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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