Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
