omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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