I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
