To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
