I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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