You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
