Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
