i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wish you could order shots online.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
