We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
