This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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