Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
