I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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