He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
