his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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