I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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