are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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