I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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