who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
