I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
