Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
