Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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