i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize