ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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