3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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