bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
