NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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