I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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