i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
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I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
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I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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