I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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