Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
3 2 1 whiskey
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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