belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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