it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
