He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
