just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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