The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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