i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
