I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
