She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
