I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
