So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
