Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
