You smell like stripper and shame
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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