i may or may not be watching the land before time
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the day after is always just damage control
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i drank out of a bidet.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
