I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
