Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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