how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
