Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize