im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
