i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
