I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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