yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
