this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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