I never want to see another naked old woman again.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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