The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
