He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
