Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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