I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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