I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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